full transcript

From the Ted Talk by Hui-wen Sato: How grief helped me become a better caregiver

Unscramble the Blue Letters

In May of this year, Jimmy Kimmel deelievrd an emotional monologue on his show, "Jimmy kmieml Live," about his newborn son who was diagnosed with a rare heart defect after an astute nurse noticed something wasn't quite right with the baby just hours after his birth. Kimmel sang the praises of this nurse and the entire healthcare team who cared for his son through the process of open-heart surgery. His monologue hhtheggiild the reality that no one, not even a ctreeilby, is immnue from unexpected health cierss. At some point, each one of us will be profoundly affected by illness, be it in you, or in someone you love. And every health crisis benefits from an open-hearted nurse who is willing to come alongside the patient and family in some of the most challenging times of life. I'm a critical care nurse, and like many of my colleagues, I went into nursing because I wanted to be a therapeutic presence for others. I envisioned the profession to be one where I lived on the highs - not from being elevated by a celebrity's mooolgnue, but from feeling like I was always doing something meaningful and helpful for others. I thought that the hgihs alone would be enough to help me cope with the intense stress and heartache that come from taking care of so many sick and sometimes dying patients. But as I rode the roller coaster of sefuinrfg with my patients and their families, I qkicluy understood that I was going to need something more than the ittneentrmit feel-good moemnts to sustain me through the lows. And this isn't just true for me. Recent literature shows that nurses everywhere are bianlttg this challenge. Currently, 25 to 33% of ctcriail care nurses show symptoms of srveee burnout, which is not just emotional and physical exhaustion but also a feeling of personal detachment from their job. Current annual turnover rates among critical care nurses range between 13 to 20%, which is higher than the overall turnover rate for other pseofnosris. These stttaiciss can be disheartening, given that many of us will rely on a nurse at some point in our lives. In our times of weakness, vulnerability and helplessness, we need nurses who have found a way to preserve meaning, and commitment to their work. While many exrental forcats contributing to burnout have been studied, I've been asking what we nesrus are to do with the internal iusse of grief - not in terms of cirang for others in their grief, but working through our own grief on a dpeeer level as we are affected by the suffering of our patients and their families. How do I erndue through the lows that come with this profession? I endure by allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons. Grief kind of has a bad rap. It's seen as something unnatural, something to be avoided as much as possible in order to survive. It's seen as a thief of life. But consider this: When I spend an entire 12-hour shift with a patient who, just a few days prior, was a healthy, free-wheeling teenager who jumped into a pool the wnorg way and has now been told that he will never use his arms or legs again because of a severed sipanl cord, geirf will be one of the most natural and pdnaoiemnrt emotions for him, his family, and for me as his nurse. We can think of this grief like a river running datenosrwm, and as the nruse, I'm on this life raft together with my patient and his family. Grief is strong, it's scary, and no one really knows for sure where it's going to take us. But for this patient, his family, and for all of us, when we find ourselves in this kind of soiaittun, it's natural. So if my endurance strategy as a nurse is to try to swim upstream against grief by way of spropuisesn, and against the next stream and the next stream, I'm not going to win. Eventually, I'm not going to last. Rather than resisting grief and saying, "It's just too hard to think about these issues," I can coshoe a different ptseicpevre as I accept the inevitable fact that I will be affected by grief. I can embrace my grief as a natural taeehcr about the deeper things I need in order to endure as a nurse. reeilnisce in the midst of exhaustion. Meaning in the midst of despair. I can redefine my purpose. When my initial idealism about life has been seakhn, I can instead tnoarrfsm my grief and choose to use it to cultivate greater empathy for my patients and their families. These are the life-giving lessons of grief that can ultimately empower me to endure as a nurse. Research is slowly growing on the topic of grief in healthcare professionals. mriaon Conti-O'Hare is a nurse researcher who developed this perspective into a theory known as "The Nurse as Wounded Healer," where the nurse learns to transform and rise above grief such that the nurse is all the more able to care for others. Along these lines, another researcher who studied post-traumatic stress in nurses has concluded that staying self-aware in grief and working through questions about the meaning of suffering can eventually grow the nurse in maturity and wisdom, both of which are life-giving tolos for endurance. I have two daughters; they're two and four years old. About a year ago, I took care of a patient who reminded me a great deal of my ygeounr child. No one could explain, beyond a suspected brain iietfoncn, what had made this chlid so sick to the point that he was not expected to svrivue. I was with his family in his final moments before we whierdtw his life support. It was a privilege for me to be with his mother in her grief because I could very much imagine myself in her sheos, so in the moment, it was very intuitive to me how to care for her. But for a few weeks after that, I was shipwrecked by grief. It was difficult to function normally at home, and it was very difficult to go back to work. It was the kind of low in nursing that I simply couldn't anticipate, much less really prparee myself for, even years into the profession. I hadn't yet learned, at that point in my life and my ceerar as a nurse, how to manage my own fairly new maternal instincts as they collided with this mother's grief. I couldn't navigate those new waters alone. It was a seirchwpk moment for me. But it was also the moment when I learned my next life-giving lesson from my grief. I learned to develop new levels of life-giving rntsloeiaihps. Specifically, I've swloly begun to find peolpe in my life who courageously look at grief with me through this new lens, who look at grief not as a thief of life to be avoided at all costs, but as a difficult - yes - complicated - yes - but a natural, powerful, and irreplaceable teacher of endurance for my life as a nurse. There are azmaing highs in nursing, like being able to walk with Jimmy Kimmel and his son through successful open-heart sregury. The prsuope and joy in those experiences are clear. But when the lows come, the sestrs and heartache can be so snrtog that they can muddle motivation and make you question your ability to endure in the profession. But burnout does not have to be the inevitable result of constantly giving oneself to the suffering of others. Allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons may very well be the way in which I as a nurse can rise up and move forward with puuosfrepl endurance in my profession. Thank you. (Applause)

Open Cloze

In May of this year, Jimmy Kimmel _________ an emotional monologue on his show, "Jimmy ______ Live," about his newborn son who was diagnosed with a rare heart defect after an astute nurse noticed something wasn't quite right with the baby just hours after his birth. Kimmel sang the praises of this nurse and the entire healthcare team who cared for his son through the process of open-heart surgery. His monologue ___________ the reality that no one, not even a _________, is ______ from unexpected health ______. At some point, each one of us will be profoundly affected by illness, be it in you, or in someone you love. And every health crisis benefits from an open-hearted nurse who is willing to come alongside the patient and family in some of the most challenging times of life. I'm a critical care nurse, and like many of my colleagues, I went into nursing because I wanted to be a therapeutic presence for others. I envisioned the profession to be one where I lived on the highs - not from being elevated by a celebrity's _________, but from feeling like I was always doing something meaningful and helpful for others. I thought that the _____ alone would be enough to help me cope with the intense stress and heartache that come from taking care of so many sick and sometimes dying patients. But as I rode the roller coaster of _________ with my patients and their families, I _______ understood that I was going to need something more than the ____________ feel-good _______ to sustain me through the lows. And this isn't just true for me. Recent literature shows that nurses everywhere are ________ this challenge. Currently, 25 to 33% of ________ care nurses show symptoms of ______ burnout, which is not just emotional and physical exhaustion but also a feeling of personal detachment from their job. Current annual turnover rates among critical care nurses range between 13 to 20%, which is higher than the overall turnover rate for other ___________. These __________ can be disheartening, given that many of us will rely on a nurse at some point in our lives. In our times of weakness, vulnerability and helplessness, we need nurses who have found a way to preserve meaning, and commitment to their work. While many ________ _______ contributing to burnout have been studied, I've been asking what we ______ are to do with the internal _____ of grief - not in terms of ______ for others in their grief, but working through our own grief on a ______ level as we are affected by the suffering of our patients and their families. How do I ______ through the lows that come with this profession? I endure by allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons. Grief kind of has a bad rap. It's seen as something unnatural, something to be avoided as much as possible in order to survive. It's seen as a thief of life. But consider this: When I spend an entire 12-hour shift with a patient who, just a few days prior, was a healthy, free-wheeling teenager who jumped into a pool the _____ way and has now been told that he will never use his arms or legs again because of a severed ______ cord, _____ will be one of the most natural and ___________ emotions for him, his family, and for me as his nurse. We can think of this grief like a river running __________, and as the _____, I'm on this life raft together with my patient and his family. Grief is strong, it's scary, and no one really knows for sure where it's going to take us. But for this patient, his family, and for all of us, when we find ourselves in this kind of _________, it's natural. So if my endurance strategy as a nurse is to try to swim upstream against grief by way of ___________, and against the next stream and the next stream, I'm not going to win. Eventually, I'm not going to last. Rather than resisting grief and saying, "It's just too hard to think about these issues," I can ______ a different ___________ as I accept the inevitable fact that I will be affected by grief. I can embrace my grief as a natural _______ about the deeper things I need in order to endure as a nurse. __________ in the midst of exhaustion. Meaning in the midst of despair. I can redefine my purpose. When my initial idealism about life has been ______, I can instead _________ my grief and choose to use it to cultivate greater empathy for my patients and their families. These are the life-giving lessons of grief that can ultimately empower me to endure as a nurse. Research is slowly growing on the topic of grief in healthcare professionals. ______ Conti-O'Hare is a nurse researcher who developed this perspective into a theory known as "The Nurse as Wounded Healer," where the nurse learns to transform and rise above grief such that the nurse is all the more able to care for others. Along these lines, another researcher who studied post-traumatic stress in nurses has concluded that staying self-aware in grief and working through questions about the meaning of suffering can eventually grow the nurse in maturity and wisdom, both of which are life-giving _____ for endurance. I have two daughters; they're two and four years old. About a year ago, I took care of a patient who reminded me a great deal of my _______ child. No one could explain, beyond a suspected brain _________, what had made this _____ so sick to the point that he was not expected to _______. I was with his family in his final moments before we ________ his life support. It was a privilege for me to be with his mother in her grief because I could very much imagine myself in her _____, so in the moment, it was very intuitive to me how to care for her. But for a few weeks after that, I was shipwrecked by grief. It was difficult to function normally at home, and it was very difficult to go back to work. It was the kind of low in nursing that I simply couldn't anticipate, much less really _______ myself for, even years into the profession. I hadn't yet learned, at that point in my life and my ______ as a nurse, how to manage my own fairly new maternal instincts as they collided with this mother's grief. I couldn't navigate those new waters alone. It was a _________ moment for me. But it was also the moment when I learned my next life-giving lesson from my grief. I learned to develop new levels of life-giving _____________. Specifically, I've ______ begun to find ______ in my life who courageously look at grief with me through this new lens, who look at grief not as a thief of life to be avoided at all costs, but as a difficult - yes - complicated - yes - but a natural, powerful, and irreplaceable teacher of endurance for my life as a nurse. There are _______ highs in nursing, like being able to walk with Jimmy Kimmel and his son through successful open-heart _______. The _______ and joy in those experiences are clear. But when the lows come, the ______ and heartache can be so ______ that they can muddle motivation and make you question your ability to endure in the profession. But burnout does not have to be the inevitable result of constantly giving oneself to the suffering of others. Allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons may very well be the way in which I as a nurse can rise up and move forward with __________ endurance in my profession. Thank you. (Applause)

Solution

  1. slowly
  2. delivered
  3. shipwreck
  4. battling
  5. choose
  6. statistics
  7. purposeful
  8. shaken
  9. relationships
  10. teacher
  11. critical
  12. caring
  13. survive
  14. perspective
  15. suffering
  16. career
  17. people
  18. surgery
  19. highs
  20. purpose
  21. predominant
  22. endure
  23. tools
  24. issue
  25. suppression
  26. celebrity
  27. monologue
  28. marion
  29. strong
  30. shoes
  31. professions
  32. withdrew
  33. spinal
  34. stress
  35. quickly
  36. moments
  37. amazing
  38. crises
  39. grief
  40. prepare
  41. highlighted
  42. downstream
  43. factors
  44. nurse
  45. situation
  46. child
  47. resilience
  48. deeper
  49. wrong
  50. kimmel
  51. younger
  52. severe
  53. immune
  54. external
  55. nurses
  56. infection
  57. transform
  58. intermittent

Original Text

In May of this year, Jimmy Kimmel delivered an emotional monologue on his show, "Jimmy Kimmel Live," about his newborn son who was diagnosed with a rare heart defect after an astute nurse noticed something wasn't quite right with the baby just hours after his birth. Kimmel sang the praises of this nurse and the entire healthcare team who cared for his son through the process of open-heart surgery. His monologue highlighted the reality that no one, not even a celebrity, is immune from unexpected health crises. At some point, each one of us will be profoundly affected by illness, be it in you, or in someone you love. And every health crisis benefits from an open-hearted nurse who is willing to come alongside the patient and family in some of the most challenging times of life. I'm a critical care nurse, and like many of my colleagues, I went into nursing because I wanted to be a therapeutic presence for others. I envisioned the profession to be one where I lived on the highs - not from being elevated by a celebrity's monologue, but from feeling like I was always doing something meaningful and helpful for others. I thought that the highs alone would be enough to help me cope with the intense stress and heartache that come from taking care of so many sick and sometimes dying patients. But as I rode the roller coaster of suffering with my patients and their families, I quickly understood that I was going to need something more than the intermittent feel-good moments to sustain me through the lows. And this isn't just true for me. Recent literature shows that nurses everywhere are battling this challenge. Currently, 25 to 33% of critical care nurses show symptoms of severe burnout, which is not just emotional and physical exhaustion but also a feeling of personal detachment from their job. Current annual turnover rates among critical care nurses range between 13 to 20%, which is higher than the overall turnover rate for other professions. These statistics can be disheartening, given that many of us will rely on a nurse at some point in our lives. In our times of weakness, vulnerability and helplessness, we need nurses who have found a way to preserve meaning, and commitment to their work. While many external factors contributing to burnout have been studied, I've been asking what we nurses are to do with the internal issue of grief - not in terms of caring for others in their grief, but working through our own grief on a deeper level as we are affected by the suffering of our patients and their families. How do I endure through the lows that come with this profession? I endure by allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons. Grief kind of has a bad rap. It's seen as something unnatural, something to be avoided as much as possible in order to survive. It's seen as a thief of life. But consider this: When I spend an entire 12-hour shift with a patient who, just a few days prior, was a healthy, free-wheeling teenager who jumped into a pool the wrong way and has now been told that he will never use his arms or legs again because of a severed spinal cord, grief will be one of the most natural and predominant emotions for him, his family, and for me as his nurse. We can think of this grief like a river running downstream, and as the nurse, I'm on this life raft together with my patient and his family. Grief is strong, it's scary, and no one really knows for sure where it's going to take us. But for this patient, his family, and for all of us, when we find ourselves in this kind of situation, it's natural. So if my endurance strategy as a nurse is to try to swim upstream against grief by way of suppression, and against the next stream and the next stream, I'm not going to win. Eventually, I'm not going to last. Rather than resisting grief and saying, "It's just too hard to think about these issues," I can choose a different perspective as I accept the inevitable fact that I will be affected by grief. I can embrace my grief as a natural teacher about the deeper things I need in order to endure as a nurse. Resilience in the midst of exhaustion. Meaning in the midst of despair. I can redefine my purpose. When my initial idealism about life has been shaken, I can instead transform my grief and choose to use it to cultivate greater empathy for my patients and their families. These are the life-giving lessons of grief that can ultimately empower me to endure as a nurse. Research is slowly growing on the topic of grief in healthcare professionals. Marion Conti-O'Hare is a nurse researcher who developed this perspective into a theory known as "The Nurse as Wounded Healer," where the nurse learns to transform and rise above grief such that the nurse is all the more able to care for others. Along these lines, another researcher who studied post-traumatic stress in nurses has concluded that staying self-aware in grief and working through questions about the meaning of suffering can eventually grow the nurse in maturity and wisdom, both of which are life-giving tools for endurance. I have two daughters; they're two and four years old. About a year ago, I took care of a patient who reminded me a great deal of my younger child. No one could explain, beyond a suspected brain infection, what had made this child so sick to the point that he was not expected to survive. I was with his family in his final moments before we withdrew his life support. It was a privilege for me to be with his mother in her grief because I could very much imagine myself in her shoes, so in the moment, it was very intuitive to me how to care for her. But for a few weeks after that, I was shipwrecked by grief. It was difficult to function normally at home, and it was very difficult to go back to work. It was the kind of low in nursing that I simply couldn't anticipate, much less really prepare myself for, even years into the profession. I hadn't yet learned, at that point in my life and my career as a nurse, how to manage my own fairly new maternal instincts as they collided with this mother's grief. I couldn't navigate those new waters alone. It was a shipwreck moment for me. But it was also the moment when I learned my next life-giving lesson from my grief. I learned to develop new levels of life-giving relationships. Specifically, I've slowly begun to find people in my life who courageously look at grief with me through this new lens, who look at grief not as a thief of life to be avoided at all costs, but as a difficult - yes - complicated - yes - but a natural, powerful, and irreplaceable teacher of endurance for my life as a nurse. There are amazing highs in nursing, like being able to walk with Jimmy Kimmel and his son through successful open-heart surgery. The purpose and joy in those experiences are clear. But when the lows come, the stress and heartache can be so strong that they can muddle motivation and make you question your ability to endure in the profession. But burnout does not have to be the inevitable result of constantly giving oneself to the suffering of others. Allowing my natural response of grief to teach me its life-giving lessons may very well be the way in which I as a nurse can rise up and move forward with purposeful endurance in my profession. Thank you. (Applause)

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations

ngrams of length 2

collocation frequency
critical care 3
jimmy kimmel 2
care nurses 2
natural response 2

ngrams of length 3

collocation frequency
critical care nurses 2

Important Words

  1. ability
  2. accept
  3. affected
  4. allowing
  5. amazing
  6. annual
  7. anticipate
  8. applause
  9. arms
  10. astute
  11. avoided
  12. baby
  13. bad
  14. battling
  15. begun
  16. benefits
  17. birth
  18. brain
  19. burnout
  20. care
  21. cared
  22. career
  23. caring
  24. celebrity
  25. challenge
  26. challenging
  27. child
  28. choose
  29. clear
  30. coaster
  31. colleagues
  32. collided
  33. commitment
  34. complicated
  35. concluded
  36. constantly
  37. contributing
  38. cope
  39. cord
  40. costs
  41. courageously
  42. crises
  43. crisis
  44. critical
  45. cultivate
  46. current
  47. days
  48. deal
  49. deeper
  50. defect
  51. delivered
  52. despair
  53. detachment
  54. develop
  55. developed
  56. diagnosed
  57. difficult
  58. disheartening
  59. downstream
  60. dying
  61. elevated
  62. embrace
  63. emotional
  64. emotions
  65. empathy
  66. empower
  67. endurance
  68. endure
  69. entire
  70. envisioned
  71. eventually
  72. exhaustion
  73. expected
  74. experiences
  75. explain
  76. external
  77. fact
  78. factors
  79. families
  80. family
  81. feeling
  82. final
  83. find
  84. function
  85. giving
  86. great
  87. greater
  88. grief
  89. grow
  90. growing
  91. hard
  92. healer
  93. health
  94. healthcare
  95. healthy
  96. heart
  97. heartache
  98. helpful
  99. helplessness
  100. higher
  101. highlighted
  102. highs
  103. home
  104. hours
  105. idealism
  106. illness
  107. imagine
  108. immune
  109. inevitable
  110. infection
  111. initial
  112. instincts
  113. intense
  114. intermittent
  115. internal
  116. intuitive
  117. irreplaceable
  118. issue
  119. issues
  120. jimmy
  121. job
  122. joy
  123. jumped
  124. kimmel
  125. kind
  126. learned
  127. learns
  128. legs
  129. lens
  130. lesson
  131. lessons
  132. level
  133. levels
  134. life
  135. lines
  136. literature
  137. live
  138. lived
  139. lives
  140. love
  141. lows
  142. manage
  143. marion
  144. maternal
  145. maturity
  146. meaning
  147. meaningful
  148. midst
  149. moment
  150. moments
  151. monologue
  152. mother
  153. motivation
  154. move
  155. muddle
  156. natural
  157. navigate
  158. newborn
  159. noticed
  160. nurse
  161. nurses
  162. nursing
  163. oneself
  164. order
  165. patient
  166. patients
  167. people
  168. personal
  169. perspective
  170. physical
  171. point
  172. pool
  173. powerful
  174. praises
  175. predominant
  176. prepare
  177. presence
  178. preserve
  179. prior
  180. privilege
  181. process
  182. profession
  183. professionals
  184. professions
  185. profoundly
  186. purpose
  187. purposeful
  188. question
  189. questions
  190. quickly
  191. raft
  192. range
  193. rap
  194. rare
  195. rate
  196. rates
  197. reality
  198. redefine
  199. relationships
  200. rely
  201. reminded
  202. research
  203. researcher
  204. resilience
  205. resisting
  206. response
  207. result
  208. rise
  209. river
  210. rode
  211. roller
  212. running
  213. sang
  214. scary
  215. severe
  216. severed
  217. shaken
  218. shift
  219. shipwreck
  220. shipwrecked
  221. shoes
  222. show
  223. shows
  224. sick
  225. simply
  226. situation
  227. slowly
  228. son
  229. specifically
  230. spend
  231. spinal
  232. statistics
  233. staying
  234. strategy
  235. stream
  236. stress
  237. strong
  238. studied
  239. successful
  240. suffering
  241. support
  242. suppression
  243. surgery
  244. survive
  245. suspected
  246. sustain
  247. swim
  248. symptoms
  249. teach
  250. teacher
  251. team
  252. teenager
  253. terms
  254. theory
  255. therapeutic
  256. thief
  257. thought
  258. times
  259. told
  260. tools
  261. topic
  262. transform
  263. true
  264. turnover
  265. ultimately
  266. understood
  267. unexpected
  268. unnatural
  269. upstream
  270. vulnerability
  271. walk
  272. wanted
  273. waters
  274. weakness
  275. weeks
  276. win
  277. wisdom
  278. withdrew
  279. work
  280. working
  281. wounded
  282. wrong
  283. year
  284. years
  285. younger