full transcript

From the Ted Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert: It's OK to feel overwhelmed. Here's what to do next

Unscramble the Blue Letters

EG: First of all, my condolences. And I think any wrdos that I would say about somebody who just lost five family members could only be inadequate. Grief is bigger than us. It's bigger than your efforts to mgaane it, and if you want to hold yourself and your family members compassionately through grief, you have to allow that it cannot be mnegaad. And I think that grief mnnmeagaet is something that we've kind of ctreaed in our very Western idea that if we can figure out something, we can avoid suffering from it, so if we can figure out how to ttsanrale grief and if we can figure out how to walk through grief, then we won't have to experience the magnitude of it. Many of you know that I lost the love of my life two years ago from pancreatic and levir cancer, and I was with her when she died, and I've been wliknag through my own path of grief, so I know what it feels like to lose the person in the world who is the most ipmatornt to you, which is of course the biggest fear that we all have. I know that you can survive it, but I know that you survive it by aiwnllog yourself to feel it. And again, to go back to the mthopaer of the monk walking directly into China, into conflict rather than away from it, do you have the courage to let it break over you like waves? I wish I could remember her name. There's this extraordinary woman who wrote a book called "Here If I Need You," and she's a chaplain for the police department in Maine, and she's in charge of knocking on people's doors and giivng them the worst news they're ever going to hear in their life, when she goes with the police when something happens. And she told a story once that I found very monvig and very helpful for me in my geirf. She said what she'd witnessed through years and years of sitting with people through what is literally the wosrt mmneot of their life, the nightmare of that loss, is that when she knocks on that door and tells that person, your daughter, your falimy meembr, your husband, your mother has been kelild, there's this universal collapse where the person will just be — it is the tidal wave that comes and just teaks you down and you lose all civilization, you lose all your attainments, all your wisdom. Nothing can snatd up to that. You literally go to the foolr. And you sob and you grieve, and she holds them through that. And then she said that what she's learned is the most astonishing thing, that that never lasts more than a half an hour, that first wave. It can't. You actually physiologically can't sustain that, and if you let it break over you and you just allow it, then within a half an hour, usually sooner — and she said this has happened every single time she's been with somebody with a loved one's death — the very next thing that happens is that that person calms down, they catch a breath, and the next question they ask is a very reasonable qutesion. "Where is the body? What do we do next? When can we have the funeral? Who else was in the car?" And with that question, she says, they start to rebuild their new life already with this new piece of information that even an hour ago would have seemed unsurvivable. And she uses that as an example of, once again, the tremendous psychological resilience of a human being. And it doesn't mean that they will never grieve again. It doesn't mean that their grieving junoery is over. It just means that, somewhere in their mind, that it's landed, and now, already, they're making a plan about, "OK, who do we need to notify, what's the next thing we need to do."

Open Cloze

EG: First of all, my condolences. And I think any _____ that I would say about somebody who just lost five family members could only be inadequate. Grief is bigger than us. It's bigger than your efforts to ______ it, and if you want to hold yourself and your family members compassionately through grief, you have to allow that it cannot be _______. And I think that grief __________ is something that we've kind of _______ in our very Western idea that if we can figure out something, we can avoid suffering from it, so if we can figure out how to _________ grief and if we can figure out how to walk through grief, then we won't have to experience the magnitude of it. Many of you know that I lost the love of my life two years ago from pancreatic and _____ cancer, and I was with her when she died, and I've been _______ through my own path of grief, so I know what it feels like to lose the person in the world who is the most _________ to you, which is of course the biggest fear that we all have. I know that you can survive it, but I know that you survive it by ________ yourself to feel it. And again, to go back to the ________ of the monk walking directly into China, into conflict rather than away from it, do you have the courage to let it break over you like waves? I wish I could remember her name. There's this extraordinary woman who wrote a book called "Here If I Need You," and she's a chaplain for the police department in Maine, and she's in charge of knocking on people's doors and ______ them the worst news they're ever going to hear in their life, when she goes with the police when something happens. And she told a story once that I found very ______ and very helpful for me in my _____. She said what she'd witnessed through years and years of sitting with people through what is literally the _____ ______ of their life, the nightmare of that loss, is that when she knocks on that door and tells that person, your daughter, your ______ ______, your husband, your mother has been ______, there's this universal collapse where the person will just be — it is the tidal wave that comes and just _____ you down and you lose all civilization, you lose all your attainments, all your wisdom. Nothing can _____ up to that. You literally go to the _____. And you sob and you grieve, and she holds them through that. And then she said that what she's learned is the most astonishing thing, that that never lasts more than a half an hour, that first wave. It can't. You actually physiologically can't sustain that, and if you let it break over you and you just allow it, then within a half an hour, usually sooner — and she said this has happened every single time she's been with somebody with a loved one's death — the very next thing that happens is that that person calms down, they catch a breath, and the next question they ask is a very reasonable ________. "Where is the body? What do we do next? When can we have the funeral? Who else was in the car?" And with that question, she says, they start to rebuild their new life already with this new piece of information that even an hour ago would have seemed unsurvivable. And she uses that as an example of, once again, the tremendous psychological resilience of a human being. And it doesn't mean that they will never grieve again. It doesn't mean that their grieving _______ is over. It just means that, somewhere in their mind, that it's landed, and now, already, they're making a plan about, "OK, who do we need to notify, what's the next thing we need to do."

Solution

  1. question
  2. giving
  3. worst
  4. walking
  5. floor
  6. killed
  7. journey
  8. grief
  9. allowing
  10. moment
  11. management
  12. translate
  13. important
  14. member
  15. words
  16. liver
  17. created
  18. takes
  19. moving
  20. metaphor
  21. stand
  22. managed
  23. family
  24. manage

Original Text

EG: First of all, my condolences. And I think any words that I would say about somebody who just lost five family members could only be inadequate. Grief is bigger than us. It's bigger than your efforts to manage it, and if you want to hold yourself and your family members compassionately through grief, you have to allow that it cannot be managed. And I think that grief management is something that we've kind of created in our very Western idea that if we can figure out something, we can avoid suffering from it, so if we can figure out how to translate grief and if we can figure out how to walk through grief, then we won't have to experience the magnitude of it. Many of you know that I lost the love of my life two years ago from pancreatic and liver cancer, and I was with her when she died, and I've been walking through my own path of grief, so I know what it feels like to lose the person in the world who is the most important to you, which is of course the biggest fear that we all have. I know that you can survive it, but I know that you survive it by allowing yourself to feel it. And again, to go back to the metaphor of the monk walking directly into China, into conflict rather than away from it, do you have the courage to let it break over you like waves? I wish I could remember her name. There's this extraordinary woman who wrote a book called "Here If I Need You," and she's a chaplain for the police department in Maine, and she's in charge of knocking on people's doors and giving them the worst news they're ever going to hear in their life, when she goes with the police when something happens. And she told a story once that I found very moving and very helpful for me in my grief. She said what she'd witnessed through years and years of sitting with people through what is literally the worst moment of their life, the nightmare of that loss, is that when she knocks on that door and tells that person, your daughter, your family member, your husband, your mother has been killed, there's this universal collapse where the person will just be — it is the tidal wave that comes and just takes you down and you lose all civilization, you lose all your attainments, all your wisdom. Nothing can stand up to that. You literally go to the floor. And you sob and you grieve, and she holds them through that. And then she said that what she's learned is the most astonishing thing, that that never lasts more than a half an hour, that first wave. It can't. You actually physiologically can't sustain that, and if you let it break over you and you just allow it, then within a half an hour, usually sooner — and she said this has happened every single time she's been with somebody with a loved one's death — the very next thing that happens is that that person calms down, they catch a breath, and the next question they ask is a very reasonable question. "Where is the body? What do we do next? When can we have the funeral? Who else was in the car?" And with that question, she says, they start to rebuild their new life already with this new piece of information that even an hour ago would have seemed unsurvivable. And she uses that as an example of, once again, the tremendous psychological resilience of a human being. And it doesn't mean that they will never grieve again. It doesn't mean that their grieving journey is over. It just means that, somewhere in their mind, that it's landed, and now, already, they're making a plan about, "OK, who do we need to notify, what's the next thing we need to do."

Frequently Occurring Word Combinations

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Important Words

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